"And I’m gonna be hiiiiiiigh as a kite by then..."

Like George Clooney's character from Up In the Air, I enjoy flying. Unlike Clooney's character, this isn't because I'm trying to avoid deep human connections. It's also not because I like giving motivational speeches about packing light and not having friends (honestly, people paid him for that?)

What I do like about flying is the novelty and the exclusivity. It's novel in that I only do it once or twice a year, and its exclusive in that unlike the Chinatown bus, homeless people can't afford it. When I'm in an airport, I feel I can partake in any indulgence I would normally limit, like fast food, candy, and closeted gay men's magazines (I'm looking at you, Esquire. Actually, I'm looking at Bradley Cooper's winning smile on the cover... WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!) Yet for some reason I have always avoided the pre-flight beer. I'm not much of a day drinker, and the idea of being drunk on a plane sounds terrible, but I have always looked with envy at the travelers wetting their whistles before taking to the skies.

Last week, a three hour flight delay gave my friends and I (heeeey Christian and Marta) ample time to stop in a Sam Adams bar and get a taste. I have always liked Sam Adams. Though my tastes have changed over the years, I find their lager among the more consistently refreshing and safe beer choices (side note: I am also a strong advocate of being adventurous, so the Sam Adams commercial from a few years ago when the tourist is in a German bar and he is told they have over a thousand beers, and without even looking at the huge dusty menu placed in front of him he says "I know what I want. I'll have a Sam Adams". Like, what the fuck dude? You spend all this money to go to Germany and you get an easily obtainable American beer? Did you also insist that you and your friends only eat at Sonic drive-ins? When in Rome, you bitch). Since this bar had a number of different Sams on tap, I went for the Summer Ale - nothing groundbreaking but overall a nice beer. I also took a sip of Marta's Cherry Wheat which was gross. I did end up getting a mild buzz from the large glass of beer (24 oz. I believe), but I had more than enough time to sober up and remember that, despite my earlier statement, airports fucking blow.